Enchantment Night
by Alley Cat Sunflower
Summary: AU of an AU, sort of (explanation within). On Enchantment Night at the Gold Saucer, anything can happen. And letting seven amateurs perform in the Event Square instead of just two falls under the category of "anything". Unfortunately, as Aerith discovers, it's not as easy to get out of a play as it is to end up in one. T for language. I do not own Final Fantasy or the cover art!


_As seems to be one of my traditions nowadays, this is supplemental material for a complex multi-chapter AU I haven't actually posted yet. Therefore, this is definitely not going to make a lot of sense._

_Without spoiling the plot of the whole AU, the things you should know for the purpose of having some idea what's going on here are: a.) Zack and sane!Sephiroth are both part of the group and Cait Sith is absent, and b.) in this AU, everything is happening earlier than usual, so everyone is a few years younger._

_(But, the reason I'm publishing this as a separate story is because the whole situation reads more like crack than anything else and I don't think this would really happen, so really, this is an AU of my AU. AUception?)  
><em>

_Anyway, my purpose in writing this was essentially to experiment with new dynamics. Also, because it's AlexTheOtaku's birthday. So, happy birthday!_

_Now, without further ado, here's some nonsense for you!_

* * *

><p>Visiting the Gold Saucer instead of saving the world would have been frivolous enough if the ragtag group of renegades hadn't been roped into a life-threatening performance.<p>

It all began with the word "Congratulations!", a startling exclamation from the ticket-taker. "You are our one hundredth couple tonight!" he continued dramatically, pointing almost accusatorily between Aerith and Sephiroth, who exchanged a troubled glance.

"Now wait just a second," protested Zack, stepping forward and curling an arm around Aerith's waist protectively; she leaned reassuringly against his chest, but her eyes were on the ticket-taker.

"We're not—" began Sephiroth, staring at the man, who gazed right back through narrowed eyes as though trying to figure out where he'd seen him before. Alarms sounded in Aerith's head as she immediately looked for the nearest escape route; being recognized might be fatal.

"Y-you see," said Aerith, raising her voice slightly above the others to distract the man, "these are just my… I mean," she said, a dangerous idea striking her like lightning, "this is my harem."

The man's eyes seemed to bug out. "What?" he squeaked, before clearing his throat. "_All _of them?" he added, assessing their motley crew, and Aerith winced at her mistake. She hadn't considered either of the girls (or Nanaki, for that matter)—but before she could hastily say no, Tifa nodded mutely… and Yuffie followed her lead.

The men, meanwhile, stared at her incredulously, some with slack jaws. Nanaki merely let out a barely audible, growl-like sigh.

Aerith narrowly resisted the urge to hide her face in her hand as the ticket-taker gradually turned redder. "Well, I guess we can make an exception to the 'couples' rule," he muttered half to himself, not meeting anyone's eyes. "R-right this way, all of you." He turned on his heel and walked away, glancing over his shoulder as if afraid, and Aerith somehow convinced her feet to move: the group followed.

"Nice going," whispered Zack, and Aerith couldn't tell whether he was being sarcastic or not, but the twinkle in his mako eyes told her he was genuinely amused. "You just landed yourself a starring role in a play because that guy is so in love with you."

"No," countered Sephiroth, and the muttered conversations in the back of the group halted at his contradiction. "She just landed herself a starring role in a play because that man thinks she's bisexual. Some people have a strange… fascination with alternate orientations."

"Seriously?" asked Cloud, frowning, before Aerith could respond.

Zack laughed. "Come on, man," he chortled, falling level with Cloud to punch him lightly on the shoulder. "Aerith and Tifa _together_?" he continued disbelievingly, and Cloud's ears turned pink in the dim light of the hallway. Aerith blushed, more at his reaction than Zack's words. "Sephiroth's right."

Aerith glanced down at Nanaki by her feet to find him rolling his eyes, and smiled slightly. "I know I am," agreed Sephiroth, smiling icily. "The girls at Shinra always thought I should be madly in love with them, Genesis, and/or Angeal at any given time." He shuddered, looking as though he'd just swallowed something incredibly bitter.

"Well, all that leather probably doesn't help your cause," responded Zack wisely. "But then, I-I'm sure you already knew that," he continued hastily, quailing under Sephiroth's glare, and Aerith giggled, squeezing Zack's arm reassuringly.

Cid laughed and started saying something, but the group halted abruptly and he didn't get the chance to finish. "Here are the dressing rooms," announced the ticket-taker, still not able to meet anyone's eyes. "One of you has to be the Legendary Hero Alfred," he explained, "and one of you has to be Princess Rosa. The rest of you…"

The man hesitated, glancing around at them all. Barret mumbled something about not wanting to get involved in no fairy-tale shit. Cid muttered his wholehearted agreement. The man ignored both of them.

"Just do what you want and try not to ruin the play," he decided eventually. "Most of the parts could be played by anyone. But the part of the Evil Dragon King is strictly off-limits, since maneuvering inside the suit requires special training." He cleared his throat. "Now, get changed. Curtain rises in ten minutes. Good luck!" And he disappeared into the shadows without further ado.

There was a very long silence.

"…Fuck this," decided Cid, chewing on a toothpick sourly as he turned and stalked away (Nanaki looked somewhat wistfully after him). Barret, meanwhile, nodded in fervent agreement, and Vincent half-smiled a little ruefully.

"We'll be rootin' for ya from the front row," said Barret, his voice more like a growl than anything else. "Sorry, Aerith," he added apologetically, and she dipped her head by way of forgiveness. Truth be told, it would be a tactical advantage to having a couple members of their group stationed in the audience, just in case.

"An' Yuffie?" continued Barret, crossing his arms and looking down at the miniature ninja, his countenance somewhere between affectionate and intimidating. "I think you better come with us too."

Yuffie stuck out her tongue, clinging to Vincent's arm with violent suddenness; the marksman uttered a startled remark, staggering at her force. "No way!" she exclaimed vehemently. "I'm _not_ gonna miss the chance to be in a real play!"

Barret's glare didn't faze the young ninja, so he stormed after Cid, still glowering; Vincent muttered something and tried to extricate himself from Yuffie's grip to follow the two deserters, but she dragged him forward and shoved him into the men's dressing room with the strength that only an enthusiastic thirteen-year-old girl can muster.

Sephiroth raised his eyebrows as Yuffie slammed the door behind Vincent; Aerith opened her mouth to reprimand her, but the ninja wasn't done. "Zack! Make sure he comes out again," commanded Yuffie, eyes sparkling, before marching into the women's dressing room herself: Tifa, looking helpless, followed her, ostensibly to at least try and keep her under control.

Zack saluted, grinning. "You got it, Meimei," he responded, and Aerith sighed, shaking her head at his lenience. "His costume's theatrical enough as it is," he added thoughtfully to himself, wandering into the dressing room—followed by an apparently reluctant Cloud.

Stationing herself by her dressing-room door, Aerith sighed, glancing between her two remaining companions. "I don't blame either of you if you want to get out like Cid and Barret," she murmured. "We probably have enough actors as it is, and I want to get this over with." She paused. "Sorry," she mumbled.

Nanaki gave a roll of his shoulders that might have been the equivalent of a shrug. "Well, what's done is done," he said, "so all you can do now is play your role. And as for me, I'd really prefer to stay out of sight," he admitted, "but if you want me to act as your… animal companion, Aerith, I could try."

Aerith smiled at his thoughtfulness. "That's sweet of you, Nanaki, but…" She hesitated. "You have a kind of… distinctive appearance. It's probably for the best that you go with Cid and Barret." _Another less friend to worry about_, she thought, spirits lifting slightly, as Nanaki dipped his head (looking distinctly relieved) and padded down the hall without another word.

"Sephiroth?" prompted Aerith, when her only remaining ally merely crossed his arms and stared contemplatively after Nanaki. Being alone with him was still a little unnerving; she couldn't help but remember the chill of Masamune's blade buried deep in her chest. "Are you staying, or are you going?"

He gave a somewhat wry smile, tapping his fingers on his bicep. "I haven't decided yet," he responded, apparently unconcerned with their strict time constraints. "You go ahead and get changed. Don't wait for me."

Aerith raised her eyebrows. "Fine, but stay out of trouble," she ordered; Sephiroth only chuckled as she disappeared through her changing-room door.

* * *

><p>"Long, long ago," said the narrator, in exaggeratedly dark and sinister tones, "an evil shadow appeared over the peaceful kingdom of Galdia. Princess Rosa was just kidnapped by the Evil Dragon King, Valvados. What will become of her?"<p>

Aerith sighed nervously, straightening the lopsided ribbon in her hair and tugging up at her low-cut dress. With Tifa's help, she'd miraculously been able to find a costume that resembled the style of the outfit Zack had bought her in Gongaga, but this one had off-shoulder sleeves and scooped lower in front. _Considerably_ lower.

"Just then, the Legendary Hero, Alfred, appears!"

Which one had they chosen to be the hero? Aerith peered onto the stage anxiously, then let out a long sigh of relief as Zack marched onstage with an air of triumph. (The crowd tittered at his bravado.) Maybe, with a little bit of luck, this play wouldn't be so bad after all. His outfit was oddly simple, but his tunic accentuated those perfect muscles… and with a sword at his side, he really looked heroic.

Aerith was startled out of her reverie as a fully armored young man pushed past her and wandered across the stage as though lost: the crowd's faint giggles turned into open laughter.

_Wait… is that… Cloud? _Aerith stared at him as he adjusted his helmet, then walked over to Zack and stammered, plainly terrified, "Oh… you must be the Legendary Hero… Alfred!"

"Sure am," responded the Legendary Hero easily. "Who are you?"

Cloud stared at him, and Aerith hid her face in her hand. If Zack insisted on ad-libbing when their script was so basic, they'd end up off-track faster than you could say 'Evil Dragon King'. "J-just an ordinary knight," responded Cloud, not having been given an official answer.

"Yeah?" asked the Legendary Hero, raising his eyebrows and crossing his arms. "Well, Sir Ordinary Knight…" More laughter from the audience; Aerith grit her teeth. "What say you accompany me on a grand adventure?"

Cloud swallowed, glancing at the audience briefly. "What kind of adventure?" he asked, gradually beginning to translate his obvious panic into a character quirk, and the Legendary Hero beamed at him encouragingly.

"A grand one!" exclaimed the Legendary Hero, slinging his arm around the Ordinary Knight's shoulders, and Aerith rolled her eyes, but the crowd evidently liked obvious humor. "Come on, there's a princess that needs saving," he coaxed, when the Ordinary Knight crossed his arms skeptically. "Maybe she's even got a friend?"

The Ordinary Knight nodded thoughtfully as the Legendary Hero winked to accentuate his words. "Fine," he agreed, and the crowd cheered; he raised his voice over the enthusiastic din. "But maybe you'd better talk to the king first," he suggested, pointing towards the other side of the stage. "It's his daughter, you know."

As Zack and Cloud walked forward somewhat slowly, the scenery changed, and Aerith practically dived out of the way: Tifa pushed Vincent forward as he sat in a wheeled throne. He hadn't bothered changing clothes, but Zack had had a point: he didn't really need to. The crimson cape, albeit tattered, was enough to suggest 'royalty'; all they'd had to do was crown him.

"The King has gone mute with grief!" declared Tifa dramatically, and Aerith seriously doubted anyone was paying attention anymore because her outfit was so… Tifa. (Cloud, for instance, was blushing.) "I will speak for him," she continued, and Aerith noted that the King looked far more bored than sorrowful.

"Please do," said the Legendary Hero, gently tapping the Ordinary Knight's jaw shut, much to the amusement of the audience: Cloud looked mortified and shut his helmet to obscure his expression.

Tifa cleared her throat, looking vaguely annoyed. "On the peak of a dangerous mountain dwells the Evil Dragon King, Valvados, who has captured Princess Rosa. But as you are now, you'll never be able to beat him!"

"What do you mean?" protested the Legendary Hero, outraged, and the Ordinary Knight nodded emphatically, armor clanking. "I'm the Legendary Hero! Of course I can beat him! Especially with this Ordinary Knight's help."

"Not so fast!" exclaimed a high voice, and Yuffie suddenly flounced across the stage, wearing a tattered beige cloak that was far too big for her: Aerith giggled despite herself, and the audience gave an 'awww'. "You'll need my help to get to the top of that mountain!"

"Who are you?" asked the Legendary Hero, barely suppressing a chuckle, and Yuffie's eyes widened in panic.

"Oh! Um, I'm the Court Ninja," she explained, throwing back her hood. "I know everything. So if you wanna ask questions about the Evil Dragon King or the Princess or whatever, I'm your girl."

The Ordinary Knight shook his head. "Why does everyone call him the 'Evil Dragon King' when 'Valvados' is shorter?"

Everyone froze for a moment, then tried not to laugh as they realized he was absolutely right. "Because 'Evil Dragon King' sounds more impressive," responded the Court Ninja, after a long pause, during which the audience giggled. "Anything else?"

"The Evil Dragon King's weakness?" asked the Ordinary Knight.

"The Princess's measurements?" suggested the Legendary Hero, unabashed: Aerith blushed. (After all, if anyone knew them, it was Zack.) Everyone stared at him, frozen in shock, and the audience positively roared with laughter.

The Court Ninja eventually sighed and shook her head, evidently choosing to ignore Zack's inquiry. "The only weakness of the Evil Dragon King is true love," she said dispassionately. "But that's boring, so let's attack him instead!"

"Yeah!" cheered the Legendary Hero, and the audience with him; the Ordinary Knight and Tifa exchanged a worried glance and shook their heads. "But it's at the top of a dangerous mountain, so we better be ready for anything. So… is everyone good to go?" He glanced around the stage uncertainly.

"I'll come with you, too," volunteered Tifa. "Sorry, Your Majesty, but I've got to help rescue the Princess so you can talk again." She threw him a decidedly dirty look as she shoved him offstage in his throne, and the audience applauded.

"Good job, Vincent," whispered Aerith, patting him on the back as he got to his feet, immediately removing his crown and tossing it aside. As the heroes started their epic journey up the treacherous mountain, Aerith glanced around for the Evil Dragon King. That actor would be the only person she _didn't _know, after all, and she'd prefer to get acquainted before they had to act together.

But nothing happened. The scenery finally indicated that the heroes had reached the top of the mountain, but there was no Evil Dragon King for them to confront. Aerith glanced around nervously. How could she face them without anyone to hold her captive?

"Maybe we have the wrong mountain?" suggested the Court Ninja, to the audience's delight, but Aerith cleared her throat and stepped forward uncertainly, approaching very slowly. There was a long pause, during which Aerith felt the eyes of the world scorch her practically exposed chest: she halted, struggling to keep her fingers away from the neckline lest she make it worse.

"Hey, where's the Evil Dragon King?" asked the Legendary Hero eventually, frowning and crossing his arms as Aerith stared helplessly over at her comrades.

She forced herself to pout. "Did you come for him, or for me?" she asked as tartly as she could, and a peculiar wave of relief washed over her as the audience laughed. They were rooting for her, she realized, but that knowledge didn't lessen the stress enough for her to relax.

The Legendary Hero shrugged. "Oh well. Success?" He opened his arms as if in preparation for a hug, and everyone smiled tentatively. Aerith was about to run forward to meet him when suddenly, someone dropped from the ceiling and landed between the two of them, one wing spreading to block Aerith.

Aerith and the audience both shrieked, startled, before she raised her hands to her mouth, realizing that Sephiroth had decided to be a part of the play after all.

He wore his ordinary clothing under a new coat, which was tattered at the hem and seemed to have winglike extensions at the base, finlike attachments at the forearms, and a few red accents. And, perhaps most startlingly, he carried Masamune. _Isn't that too recognizable? _thought Aerith, panicking.

"Valvados!" exclaimed the Legendary Hero, drawing his sword; the Ordinary Knight followed his lead after a slight hesitation, and Aerith could see him trembling.

"Wait, why do they call you the Evil _Dragon _King?" exclaimed Tifa, crossing her arms and sounding more annoyed than anything else; the Court Ninja whimpered and hid behind her. Yuffie was scared of Sephiroth on his _good _days, without throwing his appearance as a villain into the mix.

Sephiroth laughed, and his light, dry chuckle was a truly chilling sound. "Because no one has ever come close enough to see my true form," he explained. "They see the wing and think I'm a beast."

There was a frantic silence, during which Aerith tried to think of how exactly she could resolve this stupid play now that Sephiroth had screwed it up. What had he done with the real Evil Dragon King?

"Quick! True love!" exclaimed Tifa suddenly, pulling the Ordinary Knight into a kiss: he stumbled as he took a step forward, dropping his sword. There was another 'awww' from the audience along with some scattered applause and whistles; Sephiroth blinked, tilting his head confusedly.

"It's part of the play," hissed Aerith as quietly as possible, and Sephiroth glanced back at her without turning his head; Zack shrugged and sheathed his sword. "Your only weakness is true love."

"What kind of idiot made that up?" shot back Sephiroth.

"The power of love has immobilized the Evil Dragon King!" exclaimed the narrator, sounding incredibly strained, and Aerith was suddenly swept off her feet by the Legendary Hero, who carried her to safety as the crowd cheered.

Sephiroth crossed his arms, fingers tapping against his bicep, and he flapped his wing powerfully: Aerith closed her eyes against the brief wind. "Maybe I'll just take you _all _captive," he decided, grinning… evilly. _He's really getting into character, _thought Aerith apprehensively, biting her lip in contemplative worry.

"But—!" protested Zack, setting Aerith down (she almost staggered despite his gentleness, her legs terribly weak from lingering anxiety); he drew his sword once more as the audience gasped, and Tifa finally pulled away from Cloud.

"Wh-what about true love?" finished Tifa desperately, staring at Sephiroth; Cloud nodded once, scowling at him, his arm tucked safely around her waist and his sword lying forgotten on the stage floor. Aerith glanced sideways up at Zack to find his mako eyes positively blazing with indignation.

"True love," said Sephiroth delicately, "is transient. It doesn't really exist," he explained, as Yuffie frowned confusedly. "Why would anyone's weakness be such a ridiculous idea?" he gloated, shifting Masamune in his palm.

"Oh!" exclaimed the narrator, sounding like he was about to faint. "It seems the Evil Dragon King isn't so vulnerable after all! What will become of our heroes?!"

Aerith closed her eyes and shook her head; she got them into this mess, and she would get them out of it by whatever means necessary. "Seph—I mean, Valvados," stammered Aerith, stepping forward, and she could feel the surprised eyes not only of the audience but also of her comrades on her back. "Stop this nonsense!"

"What nonsense?" asked Sephiroth, smirking, before spreading his arms. "The idea that I should fall before lovers is _nonsense_."

"No, it's not," responded Aerith, glancing cautiously up at Zack, who narrowed his eyes as he looked down at her—but they widened as she pursed her lips and glanced in Sephiroth's direction, and she knew he'd caught on to her half-formed plan.

"Aerith," he said desperately, not bothering to call her _Rosa_ as he gripped her wrist before she could turn fully towards the villain of the story. "Don't do it."

"I'm sorry, Z—Alfred," she responded, gazing up into his eyes solemnly and resting her hands on his. _It's just acting. _"It's the only way to fix this disaster. But I'll always love you," added Aerith seriously, meaning every word, and Zack sighed, closing his eyes briefly—but relaxed as he opened them again, giving a brave smile that she knew was meant just for her. That wasn't acting; that was her go-ahead.

She turned to Sephiroth, who gave a single chuckle. "True love, my weakness?" he asked, pointing between Cloud and Tifa scornfully. "You saw for yourself that's a myth."

"No, it's true," asserted Aerith, daring to take a couple steps closer. "And I can prove it." She heard Yuffie's whisper in the background, no doubt asking what was going on, but no one responded.

"Oh?" asked Sephiroth, raising an eyebrow, loosening his grip on his sword. "I'd like to see you tr—" Aerith lunged forward before she could stop herself, ignoring her instinctive fear of the Calamity's cells lying dormant within him. Masamune clattered to the ground as she threw her arms about his neck, bringing his head down, and kissed Sephiroth full on the mouth in passionate desperation.

She closed her eyes: either everyone had succumbed to shocked silence, or their utterances were all drowned out by the blood roaring in her ears. _Sorry, Zack, _she thought regretfully, swallowed by guilt as Sephiroth's hand awkwardly flitted between her waist and shoulder, though he made no effort to push her back. _But this is the fastest way…_

"I don't believe it!" exclaimed the narrator finally, and Aerith became vaguely conscious of whistles as she found herself the first to pull away: Sephiroth's eyes were slightly unfocused, his lips still parted: he swayed in place as though stunned. "The Evil Dragon King was in love with Princess Rosa the whole time!"

Aerith backed into the reassuring safety of Zack's arms, and he hugged her comfortingly, resting a hand over her exposed heart (her blush deepened) and feeling for himself how fast it beat. That was quite the ordeal—and not only because of her natural aversion to the _thing _inside Sephiroth. Aerith would have to find a way to make it up to Zack later… not that earning his forgiveness would be too much of a chore.

Sephiroth finally came back to his senses and shook his head agitatedly, taking a step forward as if to protest her methods—but then there was a somewhat muffled gunshot: Aerith's heart practically stopped as something struck the back of Sephiroth's head. His eyes widened as thick red liquid spattered the ground, and he staggered.

"Amateurs," muttered Vincent Valentine, holstering his gun as he walked onstage, and the audience cheered.

* * *

><p>"Valentine," said Sephiroth about fifteen minutes later, poking his head out into the hallway, and Aerith jumped and glanced over at him in surprise along with the rest of the group; had he really finished washing off and changing so quickly?<p>

No: there was a towel around his waist, and his long silver hair was soaking wet… and still red in places. "If I don't get all of this paint out of my hair within the next five minutes," Sephiroth continued, staring daggers at a largely unconcerned Vincent, "I'm going to put you back in your coffin for good."


End file.
